


Synthesis

by AgentBuzzkill



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, heavily implied but never stated, very minor background south/ct
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-10 16:59:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4399985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentBuzzkill/pseuds/AgentBuzzkill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not until the fourth time they sleep together that York suggests making it a regular thing. </p><p>In which North and York are friends with benefits, North feels a little too much, and maybe they can reach a happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Synthesis

Agent North Dakota is running. 

Agent North Dakota is forcing himself forward, pushing on against any obstacle. He is refusing to back down, determined to be better for the sake of those he has to protect. He is running faster and faster, pulling his sister along as she yells, escaping the wreckage of a ship that’s crashed and a project that’s failed them. Agent North Dakota is running to save his life.

North is feeling the burning of his lungs, the desperate intake of air that never fills him completely. He feels the sweat running down his neck, the pulse beating in the back of his head. He hears Theta screaming, asking frantically where they’re going and what happened and where is everyone why is everyone running? North can’t answer. He does not have the strength to speak. North has never been more scared in his life.

He is thinking of him. Panicking, really. Because he’d been so sure that York would try to find him. And he wonders if he’d been stupid to think so, if he should have put him lower on his list of priorities. But York cemented his space at the top of that list and he knows he’ll never let him go. He’d hoped that York would search for him but clearly York had his own plans. His own prerogative. North is thinking of him in the wreckage of that ship and praying for a goddamn miracle.

-x-

The first time they have sex, North is pressed against a tiled shower wall. The water is running over his chest and back as York attacks his neck, sucking at the skin there as if his life depends on it, and North is disoriented, trying to find something to grab but everything is slippery and his knees are weak and he settles for gripping York’s shoulder and letting out a whine. York’s hands, meanwhile, which had previously been running over North’s chest, moved down to his hips and one remained there to keep North still as the other pumps his cock. North feels York’s tongue on his skin and lets out another moan.

“Shh,” York demands. “You want to get caught?”

“O-Of course not,” North answers, his careful composure wavering as York’s strokes start speeding up and he has a feeling York is doing it on purpose, that some part of him wants to see North lose control for a bit. 

“You kinda did ambush me though,” he says and York chuckles.

“Post-mission adrenaline’s a bitch. I figure this’ll be good for both of us.” His thumb ghosts over the tip, catching the precum that’s welling up, and North’s hips twitch. It’s been too long, he’s never going to last like this if York keeps going. 

“Even if you’re the only one who’s been on a mission?”

“Look, do you want this handjob or not?”

And North has never been one to turn down something he wants, and he’s about to say so when York twists his wrist in a way that makes his head fall back and his eyes widen and he has to clap a hand over his mouth to keep himself from making a noise.

“That’s what I thought,” York says and North can hear the goddamn smirk in his voice. 

North’s still got York’s shoulder in one hand and his other drops off of his mouth, falls down and his forearm is on York’s other shoulder. York’s hands are relentless, one trying in vain to keep him from rocking up to meet the other as he feels heat coil deep within him. 

“C-Close,” he manages and he looks down at York knowing his eyes are open wide, and York must like whatever he sees in them because he smiles. 

“Come, then,” is all he says before kissing North and North has no choice but to obey, his orgasm rising up and rushing through him. York swallows most of his noises, lets go of North’s hip and trails his hand up his chest gently as he shivers through his climax, the first North has had with someone else in a while. Certainly since joining the project. When North’s sensitivity has him trying to get away from York’s grasp York lets go, pulling away to hold his hand under the hot spray of the shower, watching the evidence as it’s washed away.

North is still for a moment, still a little shaky and disoriented, but York seems patient enough, getting North’s bar of soap and lathering up.

“So you’re here for a shower after all,” North says and York looks back at him over his shoulder as he washes an armpit. 

“Well hygiene is important,” he says. “You know those suits get gross when you wear ‘em for too long.”

And North just nods, takes the chance to admire the muscles of York’s back, the strong line of his hips and the dimples on his lower back, just above the curve of his ass. It’s not a bad view, all things considered, and he’s not even ashamed when he looks up and realizes York’s been watching him stare. 

“See something you like?” York asks with a little shake of his hips and North grins.

“I mean, it’s only polite to return the favor,” he answers and York moves close to him. His hair is getting long again and it falls in his eyes, dark and dripping and just barely covering the scars that run along his face.

“What did you have in mind?” he asks and his eyes widen as North sinks to his knees. “On the shower floor, really?”

“Don’t say I’ve never done shit for you,” is all North says and both are suddenly too preoccupied to talk much after that.

-x-

It’s not until the fourth time they sleep together that York suggests making it a regular thing. North’s come back from the mission this time and he’s sitting on his bed, still in the skintight undersuit worn under his armor and trying to relax. There’s a knock at his door and he doesn’t even get a chance to answer before York is coming in and saying, “it doesn’t really matter if you’re decent, it’ll all be coming off anyway.”

“Is that a challenge?” North asks as York bends down to kiss him.

“You tell me,” York answers with a smirk when they part for air and he slides up on North’s lap, straddling him. North’s hands move to grip York’s hips and York’s arms wrap around his shoulders. Even with North’s hands keeping him subdued York is still able to grind down a little, his boxers doing very, very little to hide his growing arousal.

“So how was the mission?” he asks as if he’s not dry humping North, and North groans.

“Really?”

York responds with stopping his movements and raising an eyebrow. North sighs.

“It was o-okay,” North offers, his voice hitching mid-word as York grinds down on him again.

“What happened?” York asks, far too nonchalantly for how hard North can feel he is.

“St-Standard mission I guess,” North answers as York moves his hips in a way that sends a spike of pleasure through him. “Just t-trying to…oh god…get some in…intel.”

“Oh really?” York says, a hand snaking down between them and moving over North’s chest, and North can feel the faint warmth of York’s palm through his undersuit. “You were with Maine, right?”

“Yeah,” North breathes out as York’s hand ghosts over his cock and he can’t help the twitch of his hips. York’s grin seems to turn smug.

“Where were you?” he asks as he adds a little more pressure to his touch.

“You know that,” North says and as York’s hand moves away he quickly adds “Insurrectionist base, a few planets over.” York’s hand returns and North gives a little sigh.

“What did you do?”

“Mostly just kept t-track of Maine. Holy shit. He…He needed eyes in there, you, uh, you know.” North is looking up at York. He knows his desperation must show on his face because York kisses him quickly before saying “c'mon, let me lay down. You’re gonna fuck me.”

York gets off North to shed his shirt and boxers as North peels off his undersuit faster than he thinks he ever has. He looks over to his bed and York is already laying down, legs spread as he touches himself, and North feels a deep want pulling him towards York. They’re a flurry of mouths and hands then, of shared warmth and kisses and marks sucked into necks.

The next few minutes are a blur of York’s hands and mouth, of the wetness of lube that York had picked up on their last shore leave, of the hot, tight heat that North sinks into as York muffles his own moans. York is under North and on his back, looking up at him, legs on either side of North’s hips. He crosses his ankles, forcing North to go as deep as he can into York and they both groan. York’s head falls back and North takes advantage of his bare neck to kiss there and taste the salt of York’s sweat as he sucks a dark red mark into York’s skin. York gives a pleased noise, running his hand over the back of North’s head as the other keeps a steady grip on the sheets under him.

“Yes, North, come on,” York says, breathless. “Come on, fuck me like you mean it.”

“Put your legs down and I can,” North says against York’s neck and North thinks it’s the first time York’s immediately obeyed any order he’s given him outside of a mission. North takes that as his permission to do as he likes and he does, thrusting at a pace that starts slow and builds until he has to cover York’s mouth at the risk that someone will hear the noises he’s making.

“Do I need to gag you?” North asks and York responds with another noise. North laughs. “That wasn’t supposed to be dirty talk.”

York moves his hand from North’s head to pull North’s hand off of his mouth. He moves it to the back of his head. “Pull my hair,” he says. “I’ll try to stay quiet.”

“Pretty bossy for a bottom,” North says as he complies, thrusts slowing, and York gives a little whine.

“Well maybe next time I’ll let you call all the shots,” York murmurs and North raises an eyebrow.

“You’re thinking of next time already?”

York somehow manages to look sheepish, even as he’s spread out under North, and he just says “well I mean…this could be a-fuck!” Ah, so that’s where his prostate is. North hits the spot again and York struggles to keep his eyes from closing as he bites his lip.

“You were saying?” North says and York’s eyes narrow.

“Well I was g-going to suggest this becoming a…a regular thing,” York stammers out as North keeps thrusting deep and slow. “But now I don’t think I like you anymore.”

“Oh please, you like me,” North says, his other hand moving to grasp York’s cock and give it a light stroke. York lets go of the sheets to slap his own hand over his mouth, muffling a desperate moan. “A regular thing sounds great,” he adds and York just nods.

York uncovers his mouth and quickly says “Yeah, yeah. Nice. Regular thing. Bros helping bros. Awesome. N-now please…please just fuck me.”

North complies, thrusting fast and hard and trying to hit the spot inside York that makes him cry out. His hand moves over York’s cock as he does so, precum making it slick, and North can feel his own orgasm building. He tries to hold it off though, waits until York is gasping out “close, N-North, I’m c-close, I-” He cuts himself off with a moan, eyes rolling back as he shudders under North and goes silent as he spills over North’s hand. It isn’t until the aftershocks that he makes any noise, seeming to come back to himself with a gasp as he bats away North’s hand, and North knows he gets oversensitive quickly. He looks back up at North who’s now got a hand fisting the sheets on either side of York’s head and is still fucking him.

“Come on,” York whispers. “Come for me, North. I know you want to.”

It’s not the first or last time North will happily do whatever York asks of him. He lets his own climax take hold of him as he fucks York through it. He loses himself for a bit, lost in the sensation of York, and he drifts momentarily in a dark place full of nothing but pleasure and York’s voice. He comes back suddenly, opening his eyes and realizing that York is holding North’s face in his hands and is talking to him, just little yeses and soft moans. He gives a little noise as North pulls out but he smiles up at him, satisfied for the moment.

“That was nice,” he says softly. “A regular thing sounds good.”

North nods, pressing a little kiss into York’s neck, completely ready to cuddle. He moves to lay on his side, facing York, but before he can get an arm around him York is sliding out of the bed.

“Good game, champ,” he says. “But now I gotta hit the showers.”

Oh. So no cuddling then. North can do that, he supposes. Friends helping friends don’t have to cuddle. York leaves soon after that and North rolls to lay on his back, running a hand over his face and letting out a long exhale.

-x-

“You know,” York says one night, “Carolina’s been really flirty with me lately.”

This isn’t exactly the kind of thing North expects to hear while he’s got York’s dick in his mouth, but North learned a long time ago to just roll with whatever punches York throws at him. 

“I mean she always has been, who wouldn’t? Look at me. But I mean like…really flirty.” 

North gives a little hum that makes York moan.

“Oh, do that again.”

North does, and York fists a hand in his hair, bucking up into his mouth and biting his lip.

-x-

It becomes a bit of a thing, North notices. York will flirt with Carolina during the day, eye her up as she trains and trade quips and one liners when they pass in the locker room. He’ll watch her from across the mess hall and welcome her back from missions and bring her another cup of coffee at breakfast.

Some days she’s more responsive than others. North notices she tends to flirt less on days that she has to talk to the Director, and that means York gets discouraged. And on the days York gets discouraged, he visits North at night. And occasionally, in the showers.

And North doesn’t mind it, really. He doesn’t particularly care if York uses him, after all he said it himself: they’re just friends. Bros helping bros. North just does York the favor of fucking him whenever he asks for it, and he’s sure that qualifies as a healthy relationship somewhere. 

Nevermind the loneliness. He’s been lonely for the longest time, he’s used to it by now. And it really only sets in for a few minutes after York leaves, and North feels the sheets cool around him and gathers the strength to get up and clean himself up and tries his hardest to not think about how quiet everything is when nobody is there for him to talk to.

Maybe orgasms just make him moody.

-x-

For a while, York doesn’t come to North’s at night. There’s a week or so in which North thinks that maybe their arrangement is over. He watches York and Carolina and tries to be happy for them. And in the meantime they’ve got a rookie who needs to be taught the ropes and North volunteers to show him around before anyone can terrify him.

So he’s got Wash to hang around with for a few days, at least until it takes one mission for Connie and Maine to decide to scoop him up and claim him as their new friend. North can only spend so much time with South before she gets irritable, so he resigns himself to mindless training and plenty of nights that involve going to bed early. 

When the leaderboard is introduced, York still doesn’t come see him often. 

But then Tex arrives. 

North watches York, Maine, and Wyoming take hit after hit, loss after loss. Tex is consistently better than them throughout, and for most of the fight North is anticipating what York will be acting like after his ego takes such a massive hit. 

But a shot rings out then, louder and clearer, and North realizes that there’s live ammo being used and York doesn’t seem to be using it. He leans closer to the window, a hand reaching out and pressing against the glass and he realizes in that moment that he’s scared. He’s scared for York, scared something will go wrong.

When he sees the grenade land near York he screams, but his cry of “no!” is muffled by the explosion.

Carolina beats him to York’s side, but only by a few inches. Still, he isn’t even sure it matters considering York seems to barely be conscious, offering up little more than groans of pain as the Director comes in yelling. 

North falls in line only when he is told to, giving one last glance at York before he stands.

-x-

“Let me know when York wakes up,” Carolina says to North as she passes him in the locker room the next day, her armor shining under the fluorescent lighting.

“Of course,” he replies politely, but the door to the training room is already swinging shut by the time he speaks.

-x-

He sets up post at York’s bedside, Wash occasionally joining him when he’s not sleeping or eating or trying to convince North to do the same.

“The doctors said he’ll be fine,” Wash says gently and North nods.

“I just need him to wake up,” he says. “I can take breaks then. But I need to know for sure that he’s okay.”

He’s almost positive Wash is judging him, he’s being transparent enough, it’s clear that he feels strongly about York’s wellbeing. He wonders if Wash thinks that they’re dating. York’s voice echoes in the back of his mind. Bros helping bros.

The medbay is quiet. He hears the clinking steps of Wash’s feet on the metal floor, echoing off the walls. The doors slide shut. In the silence, North takes York’s hand.

-x-

A few days later, York makes a noise. He moves his head, blinking, reaching up and shielding his eyes. When he manages to keep one eye open, his hand touches the bandage over his other eye.

“Hey,” North says quietly, his hand next to York’s on the bed. “What do you remember?”

“Wyoming,” York says with a groan of pain. “What a dick. Fucking grenade in my face.”

“They’d talked about giving you a smaller dose of morphine,” North says. “So it hurts?”

“Like a bitch,” York says. “Do I even still have an eye?”

Only York could ask such a question so offhandedly, North thinks. “Yes,” he replies, “but they don’t think you’ll see out of it.”

York just nods, puts his other hand down at his side. He has to turn his head to look at North. 

“Where’s Carolina?” 

North feels a stab of something in his stomach at the question. Not here, he wants to answer. And she’s never here. All she does since Tex arrived is train, and she hasn’t been here once. 

“Let me go get her,” is what he says instead. “She’ll want to know you’re awake.”

-x-

He watches York and Carolina flirt over plans for the mission to recover the Sarcophagus. He gets his own assignments, his own team to worry about, and pushes his feelings aside. He doesn’t need them distracting him, and York looks happy to be receiving Carolina’s attention anyway. Let him be happy, North thinks. Let him hold her interest.

They make a cute couple anyway.

-x-

The Sarcophagus mission is technically a success, but to North it feels like a failure. He’d let them get pinned down, had put his team in danger and hadn’t been able to get them out of it without extraction coming in and saving their asses at the last minute.

Wyoming doesn’t talk to him when he tries to apologize, but Connie immediately pulls her helmet off and gives him a gentle smile.

“None of us specialize in what they were asking us to do,” she says with a little pat to his shoulder. “I’m sure they intended that to be the case. You did what you could with what you had. You’re still a very good leader.”

“Thank you, Connie,” he says.

“CT, remember?”

“Right, sorry. Thank you CT.”

Her smile widens and she returns to stripping off her armor. 

“Boy toy incoming,” South says from her place on the opposite end of the row of lockers and North is confused for a moment until he hears who’s there.

“Hey,” York’s voice calls out from the entrance to the locker room. “North, you got a moment?”

North glances at York, raising an eyebrow and ignoring South’s snickering. He was certain that York would be busy with Carolina but clearly she’d chosen to do something else with her evening. 

“We just haven’t hung out in a while, man,” York grins. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in years.”

“Yeah,” North says and he ignores the sound of Connie stifling a snicker. “Just…my room, then?”

York nods, still grinning, and leaves. 

“You’ve got it baaaad,” Connie sing-songs and North looks at her, incredulous.

“I do not.”

“Do too.”

“Do not!”

“Do too! Man, South was right, you do argue like a brother with everyone.”

“Don’t give him any dirt on you,” South says as she passes by them. “He’ll bring it up at the worst possible time.”

“Noted,” Connie says, glancing at her. They share a smile.

“Just be glad they’re not really together,” South says. “Otherwise they’d be totally gross.”

Connie laughs and South leans in to whisper something else. Whatever it is makes Connie’s cheeks turn pink as South turns with a smirk and leaves the room.

“And I’m the one who’s got it bad?” North says and she glances at him almost guiltily.

“Shut up,” she says but there’s no heat in it. “You’ve still got it bad for York.”

“It’s very clear he likes Carolina,” North says, looking away as Connie begins to unzip her undersuit. “I wouldn’t want to get in the way of…that.”

“Oh how noble of you,” Connie says and North can hear the roll of her eyes. “He flirts with everyone, in case that escaped your notice. What makes you think Lina is any different?”

North considers it, considers the fact that York does seem to give every joke a sexual edge. York loves messing with people. He and Florida could certainly spend a whole day flirting. He’s found a new love for making Wash blush. He even plays along with Wyoming’s terrible jokes. 

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? York flirts with everybody, it’s just the way he is. And maybe North had felt special at first, maybe he’d let some kind of a crush develop, but only before he realized that York uses the same lines to try and get a laugh out of everyone. He’d asked South once if he could find out what it was like to be with twins and North was sure she was going to punch him. It’s how York jokes. And North was stupid enough to take it seriously, was stupid enough to think that York could really want him. Coming to the realization that it was all a joke had hurt.

And the way York flirts with Carolina is different, because Carolina flirts back just as hard. She doesn’t laugh it off, she doesn’t tell York to fuck off. If she ignores him it’s because his joke really was just bad. North has watched them get closer and closer and watched York fall for her, but he isn’t entirely sure now that Carolina fell for York. At least, not hard enough to be able to put him above her desire to be better than Tex. 

“She just is,” he says resolutely, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “She’s number one, after all.”

“She was.”

“She’ll get back there soon enough with how much she’s been training.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Connie says. When North just looks at her, eyebrow raised, she adds, “Tex is pretty tough, you know?”

“Yeah, she really is.”

-x-

“That thing you said earlier,” York says as he pulls his pants back on, “about being the good guys?”

North looks over from his bed, laying on his back with his hands behind his head. He admires the expanse of York’s chest in the dim light of the room, the movement of the muscles in his back as he turns to pull up his pants.

“Yeah?” he prompts.

“You really believe that?”

North watches him bend to pick up his shirt. He thinks of who they’re being told to fight, what they’re supposedly fighting for. He thinks of York. Of the leaderboard. Of Carolina.

“I don’t know if I have much else to believe in.”

-x-

When Delta is implanted in York, he only allows his recovery to last a day. By the next morning he’s training, getting used to the new addition to his brain, and North sits in the observation room with a cup of coffee in front of him, watching.

Carolina comes up sometimes to watch, but North notices that more often than not she comes just before her time in the training room. Probably making sure she gets her full time, North thinks. With York getting better there may be competition for the number two spot on the leaderboard. 

Then again, York has a long way to climb back up. Even Wash is higher than him, a fact that Wash won’t let him forget, and even though York had said he wasn’t concerned with the leaderboard North can see that it irritates him with Wash brings it up.

“What’s it like?” He asks as York sits in his lap, straddling him, arms wrapped around North’s shoulders. 

“What, this?” York rolls his hips, grinds down hard enough to draw a low moan from North. “This is great.”

“No, no,” North says. “Delta.”

“Oh come on, man, don’t bring up Delta. I was just getting into this.”

“Well can…can he see?”

“He’s part of my brain,” York says as North dips down to mouth at his neck. His hand snakes under York’s shirt and trails up his back, then down to the curve of York’s ass as he speaks. “So I guess he could see if he wasn’t offline.”

“Oh.”

“What were you expecting?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I could get him out here.” North can hear the grin in his voice. York continues, “We can have some hot man on man on AI action. Oh! He could record our sex tape!”

“I don’t think so.” North pulls York’s shirt up and York raises his arms, brings his hands down to cup North’s face and kiss him as North tosses the shirt aside.

“Come on,” York says when they part. “It’ll be the hottest tape in the galaxy. Everyone on every planet will be searching for it.”

“Tell you what,” North says as York’s hands move to his shoulders and he grinds down again. “When we get out of here, we’ll make a sex tape.”

“What about next shore leave?”

“Do you even know when that is?”

York shrugs as he trails his hands down North’s chest. “Soon enough, it’s been a while since we had one.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Hey, when you get your AI we could make this a foursome. Or would it just be an orgy at that point?”

North brings their mouths together again, effectively ending the conversation.

-x-

Theta’s implantation does not result in a foursome, but North realizes very quickly that he’s going to have to get used to a little voice in the back of his head commenting on everything and asking questions nearly all the time. North is just glad that he can answer Theta in his head, if he went around talking to himself all day that might be considered a negative side effect of the implantation.

When they’re tested, he and Theta are in perfect sync. It’s effortless, hitting the targets as he lets Theta operate the bubble shield. He distantly hears Wash and York exclaiming how great it is, and he lets himself enjoy the moment. Lets himself feel smug when York spends the rest of the day talking about how cool it was to really watch North in action. He doesn’t think of Carolina’s eyes burning holes in the back of his head across the mess hall, just focuses on the movement of York’s hands as he describes the excitement of watching North take out target after target.

Theta is comforting and stressful. He’s fun to talk to until he’s keeping North up all night, but on the upside North starts to know the Mother of Invention like the back of his hand with how often he walks Theta to sleep at night.

He finds out that when York leaves his room after sex, he goes to watch Carolina train. He tries to not think about what that means.

-x-

It becomes a constant for them. York slipping into North’s bed every few nights, taking what he needs and leaving when he’s done.

But when North sums it up like that it sounds too cold, too impersonal. The reality of it is that York jokes with him, teases and laughs and moans and begs. He takes North’s hand, pulls his hair, throws his head back and asks North to kiss his neck. In the moments they’re together there is warmth and pleasure and a bond that North is dangerously close to calling love.

Dangerously close until York is done, and he’s gone as soon as he catches his breath.

In the darkness, when he can still feel the warm sheets where York had been only minutes before, it’s easier for North to remind himself that what they have isn’t love.

-x-

Connie’s disappearance in the wake of the mission at the shipyards hits him harder than he thought it would. She’s officially declared missing and presumed dead, but Carolina says she saw the wound.

“There’s no recovering fully from something like that,” she says in a hard voice when North asks her about what happened. “Not if it’s coming from Tex.” She spits the name like a curse. “If she’s out there she’s not going to last long.”

North has lost teammates before. He’s seen Freelancers fall in numerous ways. He’s been in the program for a long time, he’s seen his share of shit, and plenty of Freelancers have had terrible deaths.

But Connie…he’d thought Connie was better than them. And the disappointment stings. The realization that one of his teammates not only died but betrayed them all before she did leaves a bitter taste in the back of his mouth. South seems to take it pretty hard too, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Any mention of Connie and she’ll leave the room without another word.

After that mission, North fucks York hard. He hears him groan, feels York’s blunt fingernails running down his back. He doesn’t know what else to do with the irritation, the pent-up frustration and betrayal and hopelessness. So he channels it into every trust, swallowing York’s moans by pressing their mouths together.

He holds York for longer than usual when it’s over. York, to his credit, allows him to. For all his usual silliness, he seems to know that North needs this.

North feels him slip away as he drifts off to sleep. He wants to tell York to stay, but the door slides closed behind York before he can, and sleep is quick to claim him.

-x-

One night, he manages to get York to stay.

To be fair, he uses the promise of a second round to get York to crawl back into bed, but when he does York snuggles right up against him, head and hand on North’s chest and one leg thrown around both of North’s. His fingertips trail little swirls over North’s chest, tracing imaginary shapes over North’s heart and down to his stomach.

It’s soothing, the silence between them, but it only lasts so long.

“What do you think we’ll do?”

The question catches him a bit off guard.

“Hmm?”

“When all this shit is over,” York clarifies. “What do you think we’ll do?”

North thinks for a moment, wonders how he could possibly answer that question when he hadn’t anticipated adding York into his realistic ideas of the future.

“I want to travel,” York says resolutely in the face of North’s silence. “Just me and my best friend, you know? I never saw much of Earth when I was growing up. I’d like to go back.” He pauses, then adds “Wash can come too if he wants, I guess.”

“That sounds nice,” North says softly. “I…I think I’d like that.” Wandering aimlessly sounds nice, if he’s in the right place with the right people. And York certainly falls under the category of “right people”. He doesn’t want to let himself get carried away, but he’s already picturing it. York leading him wherever he wants to go and North would happily follow, eager to go anywhere and do anything that might make York smile. 

“So we’ll travel the fucking world together,” York says with a grin and North laughs.

“Sounds like a plan.”

If he’s a little more tender than usual during round two, York doesn’t mention it. 

The next morning, North is surprised to wake up with York still in his arms. York is snoring softly, and he seems content to be burrowed in under the covers, soaking up as much heat from North as possible. North stays still, watches the steady rise and fall of York’s chest with his breathing, how York’s fluffy, unkempt hair falls over his forehead when it’s not spiked up. He runs a hand through York’s hair and it’s soft. 

York makes a little noise, his eyes fluttering open, and North notices how long his eyelashes are as York looks up at him.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” he says and York just yawns. He tries to bury himself deeper in the covers, pressing up against North harder. 

“Don’t wanna get up,” he says.

“You’ve got to,” North replies. He wonders if he’s allowed to give York a little kiss on his forehead. He’d certainly like to.

“We should do this more often.”

“What, sex?”

“No,” North can hear the eye rolling in York’s voice even though his eyes are closed. “This. Cuddling. Me staying here.”

“Oh.” North smiles, a fluttery feeling deep in his stomach. “I mean…yeah. If you want. That sounds nice.”

“Good,” York says. “This is nice.”

They have to get up eventually. North knows that. But it’s nice to pretend for a while that they have nothing else to do. They’ve got nowhere to be. They’re in a hostel in some tiny country and York wants to go exploring the city later that day. They’ve got nothing but time to do as they please. And maybe they’re just friends, or maybe they’re more. Maybe North can hold York’s hand. Kiss him on the cheek. Murmur stupidly romantic things into York’s ear whenever he feels like it.

He wants that future.

-x-

They don’t get many nights together before Lina’s implantation.

York stays with him through all of the nights though, even if they don’t have sex his body is still pressed against North’s as they sleep. He looks up at North blearily when North’s alarm blares in the morning, waking them up for early workouts on productive days and late breakfasts on lazy ones. 

North wonders what that means, that York is suddenly willing to spend his nights with him. He considers asking him, wonders how he could even phrase such a question without York laughing in his face.

“What’s your name?” York asks one night.

“My name?” North replies, incredulous.

“Yeah, like your real name. The one you had before this.”

North hadn’t thought about it much. He’d accepted his codename, had made it his identity for the better part of the project. It was easier to slip into a new skin, to be Agent North Dakota instead of…

“Clarke. Alex Clarke.”

York grins up at him. “That’s…oddly fitting. You look like an Alex.”

“Well what’s your name, then?”

York shrugs. “It’s just Ryan.”

“Ryan?” North asks, waiting for a last name.

“Callaghan.” 

“Oh, a strong Irish name.”

“Well I always have had a strong love of beer.”

North laughs and York joins in. It’s nice to be able to think of York having a life before the project, growing up as a little boy named Ryan. It reaffirms for North that they’re people. Beyond the codenames and the AI and the suits of armor, they’re people with stories and families and feelings. It’s too easy sometimes to forget that there’s faces behind each helmet.

“Well Alex Clarke-”

“I’m going to regret telling you this, aren’t I?”

“Now that I know your name,” York continues as if uninterrupted, “I’d like to get a chance to use it.”

“Really?” York rolls on top of North, straddles him and sits up.

“Well yeah, I mean I’m not going to call you Alex in the field. In bed though…” They’re both only wearing boxers, and York slowly snakes his hand down to pull at the waistband of North’s.

North chuckles. “You may be the least transparent person I’ve ever met.”

York rolls his eyes. “Oh just fuck me.”

“Gladly, Ryan,” North says with a grin as he grips York’s hips.

“Oh yeah baby,” York exaggerates his moans as North kisses up his neck. “Say my name.”

North breaks away to glance up at York. “See it’s that kind of thing that makes me reconsider fucking you.”

“Nah, you couldn’t give this up if you tried.”

North doesn’t respond. With York’s hand down his boxers it’s hard to come up with the words anyway.

-x-

“Lina’s getting two,” York says as he takes his usual place across from North in the mess hall.

North has to take a moment to swallow his mouthful of pasta. Overcooked and under salted, with how much money clearly went into the project, he would have thought they’d have better food than basic training. “Excuse me?” he finally says.

“Lina’s getting two AI,” York clarifies.

“Oh.” North raises an eyebrow. “She’s that desperate to get back to number one?”

“I guess.” York looks worried as he picks at his food. “I’m worried.”

“I just hope she knows what she’s doing,” North says as Wash sits down next to him. 

“Hey guys!” he says, his helmet off for once, blue eyes bright and cheerful. “What’re you talking about?”

“Carolina’s apparently getting two AI,” North says. 

“One of them was meant to be yours,” York adds. Wash’s smile falters.

“Oh.” He looks down for a moment, looks back up and smiles wide again. “I guess I can wait for the next one.”

“I wish I could count on South for that reaction,” North says, running a hand over his face. “She was next up for implantation. That one’s going to Carolina too isn’t it?”  
York nods and North curses.

“Great. Don’t get me wrong, I love her. But she’s never going to stop yelling about this.”

-x-

The news that the newly-AI-equipped Carolina is going to be fighting Tex spreads through the ship like wildfire, and North feels the oddest sense of déjà vu when Wash hurries up to him and starts leading him to the observation room, telling him he’s got to see this. York is already there when he arrives, eyes glued to where Carolina stands at one end of the room and Tex takes her place across from her. He doesn’t look up when North says hello to him.

The fight begins, but the Director bursts into the room as soon as FILSS and North only hears the name Allison before Theta starts screaming the same name.  
It fills his head, the sudden pain shocking enough to bring him to his knees. He’s not sure if he’s yelling words or just making noises, and he dimly becomes aware of Wash at his side.

“North,” Wash’s voice cuts through the pain, and he feels a hand around his forearm. “North, hey! Look at me!”

North realizes he’d practically ripped his helmet off and his eyes are closed. He opens them as the screaming dies down, as soon as it had started, but Theta’s voice pipes up, cautious and tiny and panicked in the back of his mind.

_North? North did I hurt you? I-I’m sorry!_

_Theta, buddy, it’s okay._

_Are you sure?_

North takes Wash’s offered hand and manages to stumble shakily to his feet. 

_I’m sure. You had me worried there._

_I don’t know what happened, I’m scared North._

“Where’s York?” he asks, looking around.

“Booked it out of here as soon as he could stand,” Wash says, hand still on North’s elbow to steady him.

_It’s okay, we’re okay. I’ll keep you safe, alright?_

_Okay, North._

“I should go find him,” North says but he stumbles as he tries to walk, trips over his feet and is reminded of high school and getting drunk in his best friend’s basement. He didn’t know how drunk he was until he tried to stand and ended up falling onto the coffee table. 

“You should lay down,” Wash says gently. “In fact, let’s get you to you room and you can do that.”

North lets himself be lead, his head dizzy and pounding. 

_Do you want me to go offline?_

_No, no. I know you don’t like that. Just keep me company, okay?_

_Okay. Can you tell me about what it was like when you were growing up?_

He reverted to childhood stories a lot when trying to keep Theta occupied. He was certain Theta knew them even without North telling, but Theta also liked his voice and North liked telling the stories.

_Sure. Maybe a road trip story?_

_I like those._

Wash helps him lay down on top of the covers and makes his way out silently, shutting the lights off as he goes. In the darkness North is able to relax, the pounding in his head dulling slightly. He tells Theta stories and wonders if York is okay.

-x-

York is fine, as it turns out. At the very least, fine enough for him to sit vigil at Carolina’s bedside.

North watches him, sitting next to her with her hand in his. He’s concerned, of course, for Carolina. No matter what she’s his teammate and leader and he cares for all his teammates.

But it doesn’t stop a vicious little voice in the back of his mind.

_You knew this was going to happen. He’ll always go back to her. He’ll sleep with you, give you the satisfaction of a few nights with him. But she’ll always be number one in his mind._

He can’t even resent York for it. He never could.

_North._

_Yeah, Theta?_

_The scary lady is coming._

He hears Tex’s footsteps, heavy and swaggering, before she even speaks. The conversation isn’t a great one, she reaffirms the fears he’s had, that South will stop at nothing to get an AI.

A vulture. He loves his sister, he always has and always will. But he’s starting to distrust her, and he doesn’t like the feeling of it. It sits in his stomach, heavy and sour, and he doesn’t want to face the fact that South is no longer the girl he’d grown up with.

By the time Tex leaves he’s more unsure than ever, certain only in the idea that the Director probably shouldn’t be trusted. He doesn’t feel safe anymore, doesn’t feel like he should have gotten tangled up in this project in the first place. His only hope now is that he’ll be able to drag himself and the ones he cares about out of it alive.

_Maybe she’s not that scary after all._

_Heh. Maybe you’re right._

He doesn’t stick around much longer after that. York’s still asleep, Carolina’s still unconscious. They’ll be together when she wakes up. And maybe she’ll be glad to see York, maybe she won’t be. He’ll know what happens if York comes to see him in the coming nights.

-x-

York doesn’t come see him.

North would probably be more hurt if he didn’t have a hundred other things to worry about. The project is crumbling around them, he can see that, but he has no way of getting out now. South won’t leave without her AI, but the mess that was Wash’s implantation with Epsilon has halted the project indefinitely. Wash is in the med bay, Carolina’s always either talking with the Director or training, the others are waiting for orders that North is sure will never come.

He and South are there when Wash wakes up to explain everything to him. He’s confused, and rightfully so. North doesn’t understand all of what happened either. He can’t entirely blame Tex for going rogue, but he’s almost certain it’s not to protect her AI. She’d told him before that she was trying to use Omega as little as possible, there was no reason for her to attack Wyoming or try to get Gamma.

She knows something, North thinks. Something important, something that the rest of us should know.

But suddenly the alarms are going off, signaling an intruder, and North knows immediately that it’s her.

This is their chance. She’s going to take the ship down, one way or another. She won’t stop until she does whatever she has to do, until she gets what she wants or kills who she needs to and North isn’t going to stand in the rubble of Project Freelancer any longer than he has to.

“South,” he says but she’s already gone, running off to do who knows what and there’s already no time, he’s got to find York and get him too and figure out what Tex wants but the alarm is still blaring and Theta is scared and his head is pounding.

So he prioritizes. He arms himself and prepares for battle and tries not to blink when his opponent ends up being his own sister.

“Tex, take a walk. I need to have a little chat with my sister.”

“North, you sure?”

“Go,” he says and he sees South tense. “This is a family matter.” 

She fires but Theta is quick with his shield.

“Dammit!” South screams as Tex vanishes. “Why do you always ruin everything?”

“Calm down,” North says but South punctuates her words with shots, each one impacting the shield that Theta throws up around the shots North is returning, trying to hit her leg or her shoulder. 

“I! Hate! You!”

“You’re throwing a temper tantrum.”

“So what? Maybe I’m allowed to! Maybe after so long being in your fucking shadow I finally get to be a little mad about it!”

“This isn’t the time, South-”

“It’s never the time for you! You’re always too busy for me, too embarrassed by your big mouthed twin sister to even think about what I might want!”

“That’s not what I-”

But his words are cut off by the lights flickering and the ship shaking under their feet. It throws South off balance, knocking her down and taking the heavy missile pod she’d been firing with her. It fires again, the last missile deflected by North’s shield, and he hurries to help her up.

“What the hell was that?” she asks, discarding the weapon and standing. 

North already knows. Nobody’s attacking them, the threat is coming from inside the ship. And there’s only one person inside who could manage to crack the codes and gain access to that part of the ship.

“York,” he says, mostly to himself, and South laughs.

“Guess your little boy toy has decided to rebel.”

“He’s not…that’s not the point. Just stay put, don’t get yourself killed.”

“What, that’s it? You’re just walking away?”

“You’re out of ammo and options,” he looks back at her and she’s got her helmet off, glaring up at him from behind the fringe of her pink-tipped bangs. 

“Just find me if shit goes wrong, okay?”

“What, like if the ship’s falling out of the fucking sky?”

“Something like that.”

-x-

In the end he only sees York moments before the ship goes down.

He’s searching frantically. If he can team up with York and Tex they have a chance at survival, at making it out of all of this alive, but he knows his time is running out. He feels like he’s in a pinball machine, bouncing from wall to wall as the ship rocks and drops through the air, losing altitude at a terrifying speed. 

“York!” he yells, checking every room and finding nobody. At the end of the hallway a flash of tan, he thinks he hears York’s voice say “Alex!” but then the ship hits the ground, he loses footing and slides down the hallway with the force of the crash, his head knocking against a wall that forces him to come to a halt.

The ship stills eventually, but in the silence of the wreckage North is breathless and confused. He gets to his feet shakily, leaning against the wall as Theta asks if he’s okay.

“York?” He looks around, everything eerily quiet and bright with natural light and what appears to be snow outside. “Ryan?”

_North, where are we going to go? What are we going to do?_

_I…I don’t really know, buddy._

He stumbles along the wall, leaning his head against a cool window. Looking out, he can see a cliff through the snow, and a figure lying at the edge. 

_You said there’ll be bad people coming after us, right?_

_Yeah. I did._

_Shouldn’t we go?_

_Just…give me a second, okay Theta?_

_Right. Sorry._

It’s hard to see at first, but the shock of blue armor and red hair against white snow is enough to tell North that it’s Carolina. There’s someone else, too, big and bulky, making its way towards her…Maine.

_He’s gonna help her, right?_

_Probably._

He watches Maine moving toward Carolina, can see the dark skin of the back of his head poking out of the white expanse of his armor, and he only has time to wonder where Maine’s helmet is before he’s grabbing Carolina and lifting her up. North watches in horror as Maine rips something out of her and throws her off the cliff.

Her AI, he realizes when Maine reaches for the back of his own neck. Her ripped out her AI.

He thinks he hears a distant cry from somewhere else on the ship, a familiar voice screaming Carolina’s name, but when he hurries down the corridor and around the corner, there’s nobody there.

_Is he one of the bad guys that’s coming after us?_

_Maybe. Probably. We need to go, I just…I need to find York and South._

Outside is chaos, whoever survived is grabbing what they can and trying to run, trying to find some way to safety. A few are talking about staying behind, waiting for the UNSC to come clean up the mess. Others are running, searching, trying to find friends or lovers among the crowd. North sees the same suits of armor, but none of them are the bright colors he’s looking for. As he’s searching he’s distantly aware that Wash is probably still in there, but a crowd has gathered in the area from which he’d left the ship, and it’s clear that nobody is concerned about going back in. 

Maybe he’ll end up in good hands, North thinks. He silently apologizes to Wash as he turns from the ship.

He eventually finds South, and she’s screaming to whoever passes her about how the Director is gone. 

“We weren’t worth shit to him! He took his little henchman and ran!”

“South we need to go-”

“North we need to find him, we need to go after him, they owe me-”

“Come on!” He grabs her arm. “That doesn’t matter now!”

She’s yelling as he pulls her along. Tex his nowhere in sight, hopefully long gone, but he isn’t going to take his chances with the possibility of Maine lurking around. He’s looking around everywhere, for any chance at seeing York, but he’s nowhere to be found. The hope is dwindling fast, but he still calls out York’s name as he runs, even as they head into the mountains and hopefully toward some kind of civilization.

-x-

For a day or so he’s convinced they’re going to die in the mountains. Theta won’t stop asking questions, but South is oddly silent as he leads them through the snow.

“We’re war criminals,” she says the second night, and it’s the first thing she’s said all day. 

He doesn’t reply, and she continues. “They all ran, that means they’re guilty of something. And by proxy we’re guilty of something.”

“All the more reason to find somewhere to hide,” he replies gruffly.

“Hopefully somewhere with a bed and a heater. And food.”

“We just have to be careful,” he says. “Find a town, rest up, get off this planet as soon as possible.”

It feels like a miracle when they finally make it to some kind of civilization. The village is small but the locals are human and friendly, happy to help weary soldiers and point them in the direction of an inn that will give them a free room for the night. It feels like a saving grace that they don’t deserve, but North isn’t going to pass up a bed and a meal.

The owner of the inn is a kind old woman who’s willing to point out the way to a larger city on a map. It’s a day’s walk, but it’s the best option they’ve got and North is planning on taking it. They can get their names out there, take some jobs and use their skills to get some cash and comfortably lay low.

South doesn’t argue when he tells her the plan, so he assumes she’s okay with it. Theta still keeps him up at night, wondering how Delta is doing, and North has to admit that he’s a little more worried about York than Delta at this point.

-x-

They make it to the bigger city. For a while they’re on the streets, but South seems to make it her mission to get them off the streets as soon as possible. She’s able to find the right guys in the right bars who need a job done.

North is never sure how she does this, but when she shows up with money and a key to an apartment he’s not about to question her.

He helps with jobs of course. Partners up with her or takes some of his own. He notices that South doesn’t like it when she hears that they’re being referred to as The Twins.

“We’re our own fucking people,” she growls around a cigarette, spread out on the mattress in her corner of the bedroom. 

“Assert your dominance then,” he says from his corner, watching Theta roll around on his skateboard. “Let them know you don’t like it.”

“You act like I don’t plan to,” she says and he laughs.

-x-

He keeps his eyes out for other new hired guns in the city. He waits for talk of a half-blind man, but no rumors like that ever reach him.

-x-

When South starts spending fewer nights at home, North gets worried. He worries about what she does and who she’s with. It’s second nature for him to worry about her, he’s been doing it for most of his life.

He tries to bring it up with her but she just tells him that she’s a grown woman.

“I’m not your baby sister,” she says, sitting on the couch as she sharpens her knife. “I can make my own decisions.”

“Your decisions are what I’m concerned about.”

“Well I’m not dead yet,” she looks at the knife, holds it up so it catches the sunlight. “So all of my decisions so far have been pretty okay.”

He does what he can. He makes sure her gun is always loaded before she leaves the house, tries to do what he can to keep her safe and comfortable. He’ll always be her brother, the need to keep her safe is one he can’t easily forget. 

Still, he tries to let her go a little. Gives her the distance she wants. He still thinks of her screaming that she hates him and he wonders if she really does, if being in Freelancer had made her hate him or if she’d always carried the feelings around somewhere. He still worries when she doesn’t come home at night but he never mentions it to her again.

-x-

North thinks of York at the oddest times.

In the shower he’ll remember the press of York’s lips to his skin, the rough callouses on his hands.

After a particularly successful job he’ll remember the way York’s eyes looked in the dim light of his bedroom.

In the morning he’ll stare at the light creeping in through the window and try to remember what it sounded like to hear York say his name. He can never get it quite right, though.

As the months go by his memories grow dimmer, and it hurts more than it probably should.

-x-

South passes along a job to him, some store owner has noticed inventory going missing and apparently whoever’s stealing from him has made it through every security system he puts in place. He’s adamant about not killing the guy, apparently he just wants someone to scare him into never coming back. North doesn’t think much of it. If standing in the shadows and watching a back door all night is going to buy them food for the next week he’s more than happy to do it.

He sets up camp on the roof, able to look down at the back door of the shop and the alley between the two buildings. There’s a single lamp above the door of the shop, the only source of light in the alley. North has his handgun tucked away safely in the waistband of his pants. He’s gotten used to walking around without armor, but it’s taken some time, and he still feels oddly naked without it. 

He passes the time with Theta, asking silly “would you rather” questions that eventually turns into Theta asking question in general. After a few hours of nothing though, movement in the alley catches his attention.

There’s a guy at the door, the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up as he hunches over the lock. There’s a green light, possibly a flashlight or some other tool to pick the lock. North hears muttering, the guy is talking to himself, and North sighs to himself and wonders if this is going to be harder than just threatening a teenager at gunpoint and scaring the shit out of them.

He gets down from the roof as quickly and quietly as he can, ending up in the shadows behind the guy. He doesn’t know if the guy is armed but he’s not going to take his chances, pulling his gun out of his waistband but making sure the safety is still on.

He grabs the guy by the shoulder and forces him around, stepping forward and pressing the guy’s back against the door as his gun presses into the side of the guy’s head. The guy’s hood is still up, the light of the lamp casting his face into almost complete shadow.

“Listen,” North says, “I don’t want to kill you. But if you keep coming back here I might have to.”

“I’d be very glad if you didn’t,” the guy says, and North almost doesn’t believe that he’s hearing that voice again. He reaches up, pulling the guy’s hood back. He’s scruffy, brown hair falling over his face with a bit of a beard too, but when he looks up North can see a very familiar scar running down the right side of the guy’s face.

“This sure is a hell of a coincidence,” York says and North could almost cry from the sheer relief. He steps back immediately, putting his gun down and staring at York as if blinking will make him disappear.

He looks thinner, the bones in his face sharper and the shadows under his eyes darker. The light in his eyes isn’t gone, but it’s dimmed considerably. He looks different, North thinks, but still like York.

“You look good,” York says as if it hasn’t been months since they last saw each other, and it’s so very York that North debates between laughing and punching him.

“You too,” he replies instead and York rolls his eyes.

“Spare me the flattery, I know I look like shit.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to say it,” North says with a smile and York smirks.

“You’re actually looking pretty good.”

“Well, getting off the streets helps with that.”

“And how’d you manage that?” 

York sounds genuinely curious and North feels sadder at that than he probably should.

“Are you still-?”

“On the streets? On my own?” There’s an edge to York’s words that North’s never heard before. “Yes to both, I guess. Shit hasn’t been easy.”

“No,” North agrees. “No it hasn’t.”

A silence settles over them and it feels wrong, their reunion shouldn’t have so much distance.

“Would you like to come back to my place?” North asks on a whim.

York looks up at him, looking more like an abandoned dog than anything else with his sad eyes and shaggy hair.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

-x-

“Nice place,” York says as North flicks on the lights.

“Well it’s not much,” North says, glancing around at the sparse couch, table, and chairs. The only furniture they’ve got in their living room. The kitchen is just as bare, most of their stuff is in their shared bedroom. There’s a note on the kitchen counter, South’s messy scrawl saying she’s going to be out that night and that North shouldn’t worry if she doesn’t come home.

“You really managed to pay for this? You’re not squatting?” York asks, a bit of wonder in his voice.

“South helped. Actually I probably couldn’t have done it without her.”

“Ah, so you two managed to stick together?”

North tenses. “She was the only person I could find after everything.”

York’s smile falls just a bit and North immediately feels guilty.

“About that-”

“No York you don’t have to-”

“No, I want to.” He sighs. “We might as well get this out of the way.”

“Then we should at least get comfortable,” North says. “Want some tea?”

They’re on the couch, North’s mug of tea in his hands as York cools on the floor by where he’s curled up at the end of the couch. 

“It’s just been me and Delta,” York begins. “When the Mother of Invention went down I was looking for you, but I couldn’t find you. And then I saw Lina and Maine-”

He clears his throat, tries to hide the emotion in his face. But North can still see the sadness there.

“I knew I had to get out of there, I couldn’t wait around to see who Maine would come after next. I was hoping you’d made it out but there was so much going on, I couldn’t go back for anything and when I didn’t run into you on my way out…”

“It’s okay,” North says gently. “It’s not like I blame you…a lot of shit went down.”

“Understatement of the year,” York scoffs. “I made it through a few different cities, squatting and stealing until it didn’t feel safe there anymore.” He looks up at North. “You’ve been here this whole time?”

North nods.

“And it’s good here?”

“There’s underground work. I’m sure plenty of people need to break into stuff.” 

York smiles and North smiles back. 

“And you’ve still got Theta?” York asks, and North nods.

“He and Delta should get a chance to talk,” North says. “I’m sure he gets tired of talking to me all day.”

_I never get tired of talking to you, North!_

_So you don’t want to talk to Delta?_

_Delta’s there? Can I see him?_

_Soon, buddy. Why don’t you go offline for now?_

_Okay…_

“You always get that look on your face,” York says.

“Excuse me?”

“That look,” York points and grins. “That really distant one. The thousand yard stare. I always know when you’re talking to him in your head.”

North blinks. He’d always thought nobody could tell when he was talking to Theta. 

“I really do that?”

“Yep.”

North watches as York’s grin softens, becomes something a little sweeter. He sits up on his knees, starts moving up the short length of the couch, closer to North.

“I’m really glad to see you,” he says. “I’ve missed you a lot.”

North can’t seem to move or speak. His legs seem to part on instinct as York gets closer.

“I’ve had a lot of time, you know,” York says as he moves between North’s legs, taking the mug of tea out of North’s hand’s and bending to put it on the floor. He straightens up and continues, “Time to think. About everything that happened. About what I would do if I ever saw you again. All that stuff with Lina…I think I might have loved her a little. But I don't know if she loved me. And she’s gone now and…I guess thinking I’ll never see you again helped me decide something.”

“Oh?” North says quietly. “What…what did you decide?”

York takes North’s face in his hands. They’re softer now, not as many callouses. But they’re still familiar, bringing back a rush of memories as York leans in close.

“I’ve decided that I don’t want to lose you again,” he says before closing the distance between their mouths. 

There’s a relief in the kiss, hidden beneath a hunger that has North gripping York’s hips as York’s fingers dig into his shoulders. It’s still familiar, even with the scratch of York’s beard. His lips are the same, his kiss still familiar, and North’s fading memories come rushing back in that moment.

He breaks the kiss to gasp for air, and York doesn’t even hesitate to kiss North’s neck, sucking and biting and leaving marks that North hopes will never fade.

“I-I’ve got a bedroom,” he says.

“Lead the way,” York replies.

North ends up picking York up, standing with York’s arms around his shoulders and legs around his waist. York laughs as North carries him to the bedroom, thankful for once that South is out for the night. He lays York down gently, a hand on the back of his head, and the bright lights of the city flood the room, still dim enough for there to be shadows but allowing North to see York’s eyes as he looks up at him, see the flash of his teeth as he smiles.

It’s something North never thought he would see again, and that realization only seems to make the need to touch York greater. They waste no time in getting naked, it’s clear that neither one of them wants to tease that night. They just want to feel each other.

York moves a hand up North’s chest as North leans over him, staring up at him with wonder in his eyes.

“You’re still so perfect,” he says and it’s almost too much too soon, too deep of a sentiment for North to take. So instead of responding he kisses York again, moves his hand to grasp at York’s cock and stroke it. 

“You can be loud,” he says when he pulls away and hears York try to stifle a groan. “Nobody around to hear us now.”

He thumbs over the head of York’s cock and York responds with a moan. His hand moves to stroke North in return and North shudders at the sensation, at the touch that he’s missed for so long. 

“Should’ve let me know you were coming,” North breathes against York’s shoulder. “I would have picked up some lube.”

“Get it tomorrow,” York groans, his head leaning back, digging into North’s flimsy pillow. “Just don’t stop.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

His lips reach York’s neck, sucking a dark mark into York’s tan skin. It’s darker now than it was when they’d been aboard the Mother of Invention. North figures being on an actual planet and not encased in armor all the time will certainly help with a tan.

It doesn’t take long for both of them to reach the edge. They’re shuddering, moving together as they touch each other. North’s free hand is running through York’s hair, tugging slightly, admiring the length. York is clutching at the sheets underneath him.

“North,” York struggles to speak, his legs trembling. “A-Alex. I’m already-”

“Come for me,” North breathes out. “Come, Ryan.”

And York does, a choked moan leaving his mouth and North thinks he hears his name before his own orgasm claims him.

York is staring up at him, lips still slightly parted, and when North kisses him then there’s no hunger behind it, there’s no need. It’s a small, simple kiss. A reassurance that York’s there, that this isn’t all some desperate, fleeting dream. North has never had a dream so warm and real, York’s voice and touch were never this clear in North’s mind.

They don’t need to discuss anything afterwards, it’s natural for York to curl up against North’s chest. In the dim light he can see York looking up at him.

“I never forgave myself for leaving you behind,” he says softly.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” North replies. “I left you behind too. We both did what we had to.”

“But we’re together now.”

“We are.”

“Good,” York says sleepily, and North can see him drifting off. “That’s good.”

North knows they have more to discuss. They need to figure out if they’re staying in this city or moving on, if they need to get a new apartment. They need to discuss what will happen if someone comes after them, be it the UNSC or another former Freelancer. They need to start preparing to either fight or run, and be ready for whatever the future is going to bring them. Maybe York still wants to go back to Earth. Maybe they really could see the world together. Everything North thought he would never have is coming back, is suddenly possible, and it’s dizzying to think of what they could do together.

But for now, North thinks they can rest. They deserve it.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been a long time coming.
> 
> Special thanks to blonde-simmons and gayfordabae on Tumblr for beta-ing the fic. 
> 
> Super special shoutout to Mitch for always indulging my need to be total dweeb trash. This one's for you.
> 
> Comments and criticisms are, as always, greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading. <3


End file.
